Here’s my story…
I haven’t been on here in quite a while, but I just watched the video on Youtube entitled ‘Meet Jade’ about a girl who was being bullied in middle school and went into her first year of high school dealing with the same thing.
Well, I’ve been there. I’ve been in the exact same position, and it’s made me who I am today. The video inspired me to tell my story, and what I’ve been through.
It started around the end of my seventh grade year. I dressed a lot different than the majority of the kids I went to school with. I wore a lot of make-up, dark clothing, and things like that. I also had different colors in my hair. Those of you who knew me back then personally, I’m sure you remember how I looked. I really only had 3 close friends, and I only still really talk to one of them, but barely. They all pretty much stayed away from me after everything started.
It all started when a group of kids would call me names like “emo, freak, cutter, bitch, cunt, ugly, stupid, goth” and the list goes on. I couldn’t walk down the hallways at school without somebody saying something along those lines. I felt helpless.
It accelerated all the way until my first year of high school. My freshman year, changed everything. The people I was friends with in middle school had different friends, and I didn’t really have any, only people I considered acquaintances. I had friends outside of school, but nobody to be there for me in school. It got ten times worse that year. For me, being a 14 year year old girl at the time, it was the end of the world. I was young and just wanted to be accepted and liked by everyone, but I felt hated.
I put on a smile and walked around like I was joyful and happy, but behind closed doors, I was a disaster. I dealt with so much stress from all of this at school, that as soon as I would come home, I would sleep the rest of the day. My sleeping schedule was also a mess. I would stay up all night, dreading going to school the next morning. I spent my time reading, or on the computer editing pictures of myself because I was so self conscious and was beginning to believe what these people were telling me. Honestly, I did cut a few times. I told myself I would never do it again every time, but of course I did. I didn’t tell anyone, and I didn’t show anyone. I wore a wristband to hide it most of the time, or I did it where nobody could see them. I was a disaster.
Toward the end of the freshman year, I just never went to school. I skipped so much, and ended up in trouble for truancy. I contemplated quitting, but I honestly loved the learning part of school, just everything else was too hard to deal with. I didn’t know how I was going to get through 4 years of high school dealing with all of this. And the only person that really knew anything, was my mom and my friends outside of school.
Sophomore year, it was still going on. I tried to get and end put to it, and nobody would listen to me. I got through first semester, and then decided to quit school and get home schooled. They told me the credits would not count, and I would not be able to get a high school diploma, but that I would be able to get my GED. At the time, I really didn’t think I was going to make it anywhere in life so I didn’t care. I just said whatever and signed the papers. I felt like I disappointed my family when I did that, and I did.
I switched schools the next year to get away from it, and it helped quite a bit. I had to re-do my sophomore year, but I was completely fine with that. I made new friends who I could trust, and many people who are still my friends to this day, and most of them have never even heard this story. I started dressing like a ‘normal’ person again after a while, and I actually had a REAL smile on my face all the time. I was finally happy and things were really looking up. My grades were so much better since I didn’t have all of the distractions I did before. I was finally making something of myself.
The next year, my Junior year, I went back to my old school with a whole new attitude and a whole new look. I was a completely different person. I was happy, bubbly, and content with everything. Most people left me alone, but to the one’s who didn’t, I finally learned how to stand up for myself. I was actually confident about myself and knew I was a good person. I got over it, and realized “Life goes on”. And that’s exactly who I am today.
The past few years have made me realize I am a good person, and a lot of people love and care for me. To the ones who don’t, it’s your loss and your problem. I’m not dealing with it. Nowadays, I guess you could say I’m a little ‘over-confident’, but at least I’m not backed in a corner like I had been. I love my life. I couldn’t ask for better family, friends, or anything. I’m completely content and all of that has made me grow so much stronger. I’m actually glad it happened, because now, there’s a similar thing going on in my life, but I’m just looking at the situation as positively as possible. It’s not bothering me one bit, I’m just laughing it off and feeling bad for the people who are involved. Some people have some sad lives and won’t go anywhere in life, and I have figured out over the years that it’s all jealousy and I WILL be something great in life.
<3Shar.
Here
(Source: steamboatdavey, via thefingerfucker)
(Source: chinacat-sunflower, via tits0rgetthefuck0ut)
